The definition of a pipe dream is "a fantastic but vain hope" or "a plan, desire, or idea that will not likely work; a near impossibility" according to an obscure web site. I had a dream, and it was a reality for just a little while, then it vanished into thin air. It all started over 10 years ago with a certain someone who was once important in my life for almost 2 years... then it blew up just like is now... some shit, different time period. And here I thought things would be different; I am such a fool. But that is the price you pay when pipe dreams do not become a reality and stay a pipe dream. I took a gamble on something that I thought was going to make my happiness front and center and instead all I got was disappointment and now a little anger. No matter what, I will not cry again. It is time the record gets changed and I attempt to make the life I have now, the one that makes me happy. Some tough choices have to be made now, do I come completely clean with the innocent party that knows nothing of my deception; or do I take my secret to the grave? I stand to lose a whole hell of alot if I do spill my little secret, but what damage will it cause if I keep it to myself? I can admit that I made a mistake, and that it may not happen again, but will that satisfy the innocent party?or am I in for a vast change in my life? I think that question that needs to be answered is "will it happen again?" I cannot answer that honestly. I know I cannot. If the other person involved in this, excluding the innocent one, called me up; or should I say in today's times; texted me, would I drop everything I am doing to run to that person? Will I want to be with that person as I am now or would I finally have the strength to say NO and mean it? I don't think I would be able to say NO and mean it to this person. What does that mean? I haven't a clue. I know that there is something about this person who makes me smile, laugh, and relax. Even after all these years, I still am attracted to him in the most humanly way possible. How can this all be? Why is the attraction so great that I can't let go? I wish I knew the answers to my many questions. Perhaps in time the sky will clear, and the answer will appear from Heaven.
About Me
- Jenn Newman - DeSimone
- I am a mom of 4,ranging in ages from 9 to 3 1/2. I have 3 boys, who are as different as night and day are, and 1 girl who was a pleasant surprise... I am currently a full time college student, trying to get my degree in Accounting. Once that is completed, I plan on finding a good job and providing more my children better than ever before.